Wait, (double take) did she just say love?

“Did u even feel de slightest love 4 me Lloyd? I hv bin wonderin wat exactly it is dat u feel 4 me coz u hv bn distant eva since we left GULU. Nway nice tym n pliz take care.”

-Robinah (via text message)

4:47 pm

***

I got it on the bus. On my way back to Gulu. I had to smile. Love? Was she serious? I mean come on. It was just sex. Better for her than it was for me, I’m guessing. She was talking like a sixteen year old girl. And you have to understand, she wasn’t a sixteen year old girl. Not even close. This is a grown ass woman we’re talking about. A government job chick even. And yeah, I know government job chicks have feelings too. I wont argue with you on that but after one week? No wait, that’s not even close to the truth. Try two days on for size. Two days and she was already getting all girlfriendy on me and stuff.

And that really wouldn’t have been a problem, I might have even been able to go along with it but for the fact that I just didn’t have the capacity to fall for someone like her. Someone like her meaning someone other than my ex girlfriend. Given any amount of time. I’m fighting to get her back you see. Even if subtly. No matter what my friends may say or think about it, she’s the one I want to be with.

And so you see Robinah, honey, you didn’t have a chance. Never bank on a man who fucks you on the very first night. Because the fact is, he wont respect you in the morning.

So consider this a lesson learned sweet heart. And for what its worth, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t be that man. I really am. You’re just not her.

Now, for those of you out there who are wondering how I can be in love with one person and fucking someone else, let’s just say that its…complicated. Meaning that I really don’t think its worth the energy and in this case the ink to explain it to you. I can say this though, no one excites me the way that she does. No one can make my blood boil or my heart pump the way that she can. No one intrigues me, makes me laugh, messes with my head or makes me want to be a better man better than she does.

And maybe, just maybe, possibly, if I looked hard enough I could find someone who tops her in all of that. But the fact is, I don’t see any sense in searching for another, quite possibly lesser version of her when she’s standing there right in front of me. It doesn’t make any sense.

And so in conclusion, Samantha, (and yes, I know, you don’t have to say it but you’re just going to bear with me on this), baby its you.

***

“I appreciate yo honesty, hv a nice life”

-Robinah (via text message)

8:40pm

Playlist much?



1. Lesson Learned- Alicia Keys ft. John Mayor

2. I think that she knows- Justin Timberlake

3. Regrets-Jay-z

4. S.E.X. Nickelback

5. Leave out all the rest- Linkin Park

6. Youre a jerk- The new boys

7. Best I ever had- Drake

8. Number 1- R Kelly & Keri Hilson

9. Senorita- Justin Timberlake

10. Thinking of you- Katy perry

11. Intruder Alert- Lupe Fiasco

12. Hero/ Heroine- Boys like girls

13. Better than me- Hinder