Famous (?) Last Words

Tonight I lock lips with the Devil. Bid the world farewell. No tears for me mama, no…No tears for me. I’m ready to go. I’m ready to leave all of this behind. All of it…So let’s go.
I strangle a bottle of vodka with one hand and let Death take me by the other.
She said that it would be painless. That it would be as easy as taking off a t-shirt.
Pills…pills were definitely the way to go. Screw that noose around the neck nonsense. Why would someone want to go do something like that? Pills were easy. It would be like going to sleep. Like going to sleep and just never waking up.
It’s getting dark in here. A little chilly as well. Can someone please turn on a light? Get me a blanket maybe. I thought I wasn’t supposed to feel anything. Why do I feel so cold? Please. Please, somebody answer me.
Death turns to look at me. Her eyes are soulless white orbs, her mouth a cavern of crumbling tombstone like teeth. She moves her lips. Slowly. With purpose. She wants to make sure that I hear what she is about to say.
Her voice is like the final sound the soul makes as it gives up its earthly anchor. No more than a whisper. As soft as silk on skin.
“Why do you worry?” She asks me. “Why do you worry? I have you Lloyd. Just as you have me. This is merely a part of the journey.
“Squeeze my hand. Go on, squeeze it. Do you feel that? Do you feel how cold that is? I am the chill that you are feeling.
“Now gaze upon my face, go on, try…You can’t, can you? That is because I am the darkness that surrounds you.
“Don’t forget that you asked me for this, Lloyd. Not the other way around. I was more than happy to wait until your number was up. You had a good fifty years left in you. It’s quite a shame. You had so much going for you too…
“Well, no matter. Come on. We’re almost there. No point in trying to turn back now…”
What sound does a heart make when it breaks…?
I can barely keep my eyes open. I feel like someone poured sand down my throat. The sound of the TV is muffled. Like its coming from the next room. Yet it’s only five feet away. And my bones. My bones feel like stone. I can’t move. I’ve been trying to. I can’t even make a fist.
It’s happening, isn’t it? This is what dying feels like. Numbness. And not only of my body but of my brain too. Everything seems to be slowing down. Even forming thoughts is becoming difficult. Words, words that I used to know, that were as normal as breathing now escape me. Faces, faces are becoming harder to recall. Who’s face is this that I keep on seeing? It keeps on coming back, it must mean something to me. Come on, think…who is she?
I can’t breathe. Oxygen eludes me. I’ve forgotten how. How do you breathe? How do you live?
How do you…?
How…do…?
How...?