What They Refer to in "Rehab Land" as a "Breakthrough"

Ive written the opening sentence for this thing about 15 friggin' times but still haven't been able to come up with something I like. I guess this is going to have to do.
So where do I start? *sigh* oh yeah, I came pretty close to relapsing today. I wanted to, I so wanted to. And not even because I really wanted to (if that makes any sense) it was the challenge of being denied something and setting out to prove that if I really wanted it I could get it. The “it” in this case being 7 minutes in heaven (fall out boy reference anyone?) with girl X who's proving to be quite the slippery fish. Playing with my hair (well, that's gone now) tugging at my hand (cant she cross a friggin street by herself?) saying what a great couple the two of us would make (I can make any couple look good) and how friggin cute she thinks i am (uh...duh). But when it comes down to the business at hand, she don't dish out. do you know how friggin frustrating that is? I would rather she be friggin up front about it. But a tease? Not cool dame...not cool at all.
Not an excuse though. A commitment is a commitment and I'm glad I made it out here right in the open. I got people who can call me up on it (You know who you are and I love you immensely for it). Ive got my head on straight again though. And for future reference, if ever it needs straightening, never hesitate to do the needful (again, you know who you are).
*Sigh* this is really hard. Because even though I no longer miss her, there's still that void that she left behind to deal with. And the fact is, thats what this really all boils down to. Getting over her. I have a Samantha shaped hole in my heart (thats not her real name but Nimo you know who I'm talking about) and Ive been trying to fill it with all these other girls even though I knew from the get go that none of them would be able to replace her. And so I decided that since plan A wouldn't work I would proceed with plan B; burying myself in so many of them that I wouldn't have time to miss her or want her back.
Well, thats obviously not gonna work anymore...if it ever worked at all. I gotta deal with this thing head on instead of simply setting up petty distractions to tide me over...
Hey! Look sponsor, I think this is what they refer to in rehab land as a “break through”. And if it is, well then I guess that means I'm one step closer...
Pass me my chip!