Once again I'm bus bound. Destination? It doesnt matter. All that matters is that its away from here.Its barely nine in the morning but the sun is already high and its pretty obvious that the day is going to be a hot one.The chair i'm sitting in is an old one. the kind you sink into. It almost feels as if its saying, "Come here and let me give you a hug."Its a pretty nice feeling. A great feeling actually. Have things become so bad that i need to illicit affection from a chair?
I read my book again last night. The unpublished, quite finished piece of literature that has been sitting at the bottom of the proverbial drawer for quite sometime now. It hit me like a hammer. The memories recorded in it assaulting my senses with the ferociousness bordering frightening. Frightening because of the clarity it brought. Of who I was, who i became and who I am now. And all of the steps, big and small, that came in between.
I didnt finish reading it until it was after three. After climbing out of the shower and drying myself down, i remember staring at myself in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot and i looked exhausted. And i was. More emotionally than anything else. The book had drained me.
And so with bloodshot eyes and a back breaking from a heavy heart (thank you Mr. Wentz) I fell into bed and fell asleep.
It feels good to be home. To be in a place that I can call my own. My room, my bed, my table, my chair. Ive missed being able to closet myself in the privacy of my own space. Not having to worry about if the music is too loud or if I'm in the way. I finally have some peace. and THAT feels good. And for some reason, it makes me feel hopeful. Not only having my space but having people i know that love me around me. within shouting distance. I admit, it can be stifling at times and I needed the reprieve. But being back...has put a smile on my face. a smile that has seldom been real for quite some time. Partly, because it is home but mostly because the angst of the past two weeks is now 350 km away.
Good bye storm clouds...hello sunshine
you write? wow.... i am still working on my anthology ...again after losing so much...
ReplyDeleteyup. i write. for sanity. AND for fun. but mostly for sanity. plus its nice being able to tell people that "I'm a writer"...theyre all like, "Wow, he's the artistic type. he sure doesnt LOOK like it though..."
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